Diagnostic (Blog 1)

        The battle of the self’s. My public self is more reserved and inquisitive. I don’t feel the need to have anyone around me or wish for anyone’s attention while I am showcasing my public self. I tend to hide certain key things such as my comical side, and also the fact that I enjoy classical music. To me these are personal and private. They are aspects I normally rather not share with anyone. In my private self you can find me to be the exact opposite once I am comfortable with those around me I shed the protective surface or layer that is my public self and become this very lively and creative person.  I can only truly be myself when I am in the company of friends and family.

        Taking a closer look at the two I’ll start with my public. My Public self is a protective layer for me as I stated before. However it does not just serve one purpose. I tend to use my public self to relate and blend with the world around me. Similar to a chameleon, with my public self I have a way to camouflage myself so I can almost match up to any group of people I encounter in my daily life. This does not mean I am not being my real self. It just means I am making an attempt to get to know who is around me before letting them get to know more about me.

        My Private self is much more lively and awake. I hold nothing back once I am comfortable with those around me. In my private self I love to joke around all the time and be spontaneous. I become a very loud and crave tons of attention. No longer am I reserved and held back. I say what I want, how I want and to who I want provided they are within my group of close friends and family. Generally you can find me creating music and listening to classical music. You wouldn’t see me doing this with my public self. These two things are very important to me and I avoid showing them to just anyone. I guess it is to avoid criticism in a way.

        I won’t lie it has been hard to juggle both persona’s. Some people I’ve encountered in my life could see right through the image or public self I presented them with. At other time no one would be the wiser. After a few years and meeting more and more people. I have sort of learned to give a bit more of my private self to my public image. For instant you never would’ve caught me writing these very same thoughts publically as I am doing now. You never would have found me on a social networking site. A few years ago you’d never even notice if I were to be walking or sitting right behind you. As time progressed I began to let my private self and thoughts become a more and more public. Do I still take caution with my words and how I say them and to whom? Yes, I even still keep something’s very private, it just leaves more to the mystery of getting to know me.